Clown and Gripe Vol. 98 no. 69

              the clown & gripe 215)758-41561 wednesday april 1 1987 i vol.98 no.69l likins wimps out iacocca new prez school now lee i by scoop brady < mm init t itis nlnm.v / tlitm i chijsh alumnus i ee lacocca will replace current university president petei i ikms effective immediately lacocca renounced ins recent lour year contract as chairman of the chrysler corporation as soon as the position opened up according to i ikins it's not just me i ven doming thought this place sucked ami after six years of dealing with drunken students incompetent staff obnoxious egotistical faculty and snobby alumni i can see win i'm ready to turn in my robe i ikins said i ikins denied rumors thai he would become dartmouth university's president after leaving i ehigh 1 like the area too much to leave he said i ikins reported that he and his family were considering moving into an apartment on montclair avenue after he resigns due to the convenience of being so close to pood lane pai just loves the double coupon specials he said he is also considering a prestigious post at dartmouth where he has been ottered a position as a custodial assistant i ikins will be missed b several students he was a good president because he really knew how to shovel the hoo-ha said former big gentleman on campus mark fellatio '$"*. an ex-hoo-ha shoveller himself senior don dav illey an admitted drug user from delta high fraternity admitted he will also miss likins i'm wondering if 1 ee's gonna let me and all my friends keep shooting up and getting loaded for our last months at i ehigh 1 ikins let us do it all the time likins said he is looking forward to nun ing aside for lacocca i ehigh is uniquely suited for lee's talents we owe soooo much money likins said the man's also got creative genious and impeccable taste likins marveled just took at that gorgeous statue in front of the library lacocca announced that his first move as lehigh president will be to change the name of his alma mater for financial reasons lehigh would be better suited if it went by the name of lee 1 university lacocca said itu soue the problem of the mascot name too from now on we'll be the \. :;::.•>." " he added it shouldn't be a big deal 1 know from personal experience that not one of lehigh's engineers can spell anyway lacocca said after i change the name i'm gonna get rid of that big gumby in the window of tremble v lacocca pledged large green creatures don't belong at lehigh lacocca will reportedly move the president's residence to one of the larger office buildings on the mountaintop campus i'd be crazy to live on campus — kids drinking and puking and spomping in my back yard know lehigh students plus i want to be close to my office in the tower building iacoeca said nibbing his hands together rumors have recently spread about extensive renovations already begun on the mountaintop campus lacocca institute which win eventually be iacocca's home lacocca refused to comment and said only those kids think they know how to party dean of students john smeaton assistant vice president for student affairs refused to comment saying that's really not my responsibility ex-prez pete pouting ■ ■■■■■■■■■■ — 1 ..— w.v.-.v amro v i i^»w .. fflfumv i pu photo former lee i president peter likins announcing his resignation during a nationally televised press conference yesterday aggravated angelo arrested as assailant after aborted assault attempt donna hoover 87 who reportedly kept him occupied for several days in the basement of her apartment before turning him in to campus police i admit everything wailed spinosa who has attended lehigh since 1970 the year before the university went co-ed i tried to scare them away women don't belong at lehigh or lafayette spinosa's reign of terror has lasted since he reportedly exposed himself to and was scared away by an alpha epsilon pi fraternity little sister up to his assault of hoover a sister at byadambettwetter cmnmmmmwcrnmtsmmsmtnemmr angejo spioosa lehigh graduate student extraordinaire was arrested yesterday for over a dozen masked attacks on female lehigh and lafayette students sf»ota surrendered to his latest victim see anqie babe page 7