Clown and Gripe Vol. 87 no. 1

              lehigh university clown and gripe vol 87 — no 1 bedlam pa thursday april 1 1976 s:k>:s 865-1416 terrorists kidnap mrs lewis by randolph hearst president's sweet wife labels husband pig a warrant has been issued for the arrest of emmeline lewis fugitive wife of university president w deming lewis m connection with the recent robbery of the university treasury mrs lewis who now calls herself olga is being sought along with three other members of a self-styled terrorist group known as the bethlehem redevelopment authority bra which kidnaped and apparently converted her four days ago eugene dax captain of the campus david cassidy to substitute for frampton by mark linder the peter frampton concert scheduled for april 9 has been cancelled according to todd heck 76 concert chairman of the student activities council sac heck declined comment on the cancel lation except to say it was frampton's decision in place of the frampton concert the sac has scheduled a performance by singing idol david cassidy star of the tv show the partridge family frampton told a clown & gripe reporter m a telephone interview that he felt the lehigh audience was too sophisticated for his music word m the trade is that lehigh reacts favorably only to groups with meaningful deep lyrics and intricate orchestration he said my agent informed me that the only group to reach any degree of success m recent memory was a group calling itself sha na na they're indian mystics i believe he continued frampton said some friends of his m the business cheech and chong cancelled police is heading the all-out manhunt for lehigh's first lady he said he's been using most of his 10-man and one-woman force on the case when mrs lewis was first kidnaped by bra the group demanded a university built high rise on fourth street as ransom but now mrs lewis has joined up with her kidnapers and denounced her husband as a capitalist pig the captive-turned-commando revolutionary sent a tape to wlrn ex plaining her new outlook on life as olga as soon as the campus radio station received the tape they interrupted their programming to broadcast olga's message to the nearly 50 listeners of the station some complaints were called m afterwards because the tape interrupted the playing of the osmonds latest hit single on the tape olga denounced the lehigh administration for its lack of concern for residents of the south side she also said to her husband you and your seven dwarfs lehigh's vice presidents are nothing but a bunch of capitalist pigs libsch ottervik zorro parr that pompous paper shuffler and spriggs — that egg-headed yes-man and glick — that profit hungry adding machine and franz — a man who would offer to sell his mother for lehigh and even tell you how she could be used as a tax write-off you're all a bunch of bourgeois bureaucrats olga then listed bra demands — president lewis must stop driving from his house to his alumni memorial building office m the continental financial aid must be given to students even if they can't wrestle david cassidy dean's office to change changes by clarence campbell the dean of students office is planning a complete overhaul of the residence system one year from now a confidential document prepared last weekend reveals one source said the altered re configuration puts to shame the recently announced changes the source by his position m taylor gym is privy to the most important policy discussions held by members of the dean of students office the source was able to jot down some important points m the 30 page report the following changes are planned at 8 p.m on the day before preregis tration first semester all students in terested m entering the lehigh residence system will select a key from a bin the first ones to match the key with the room get spaces you've got to admit students have a certain amount of choice sharon drager assistant dean of students wrote m the document the system will consist of equality between men and women corresponding with vertical horizontal and diagonal integration for example m&m will be integrated m sex and class terms that is m&m a2ol will be female freshman m&m a203 will be male sophomore m&m a205 will be female junior and m&m a207 will be male senior etc but m&m a3ol will be male sophomore whereas m&m alol will be male senior etc a five-page supple mentary diagram accompanies the primary document this quite ef fectively with minimum dislocation and maximum satisfaction achieves the greatest good for the greatest number within the guidelines drager wrote social dorms will be moved out of such houses as mcconn and leavitt into available space above the university owned college theater administrators are confident this will better suit their living styles residents of dorms such as beardslee and smiley have angered the dean of students staff and therefore will be left to fend for themselves m the new lottery the clown and gripe has learned that drager has drawn up a blacklist headed by joel goldberg of beardslee and bob wagenseil of smiley the two most vocal protesters at the recent rally goldberg was recently nominated for an oscar after his per formance adequate base-rate housing will be provided m the old house next to c&g photo by ottervik rebellious olga emmeline lewis alias olga stands defiantly m front of the symbol of the rebel cause she so quickly joined after her kidnaping the picture of olga holding a machine gun was sent to the clown and gripe by bra as evidence of her complete rejection of her past see president's page 6 see idol page 6 see residence page 7 inside weekender p 3 clown of the year p 4-5 campus news briefs p 5 pres iden tamid on ? p 6 knocked-up student p 7 forum ' reviewed p 7 pugger returns p 8